Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
