I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
