So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
