you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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