Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
