Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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