it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
