New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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