I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
