Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
