No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
