CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize