What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
