I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
