it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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