i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
