I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
