Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
