i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
