am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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