This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
