no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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