10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
