Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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