we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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