did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
