Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
