There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize