god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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