Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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