Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Pants are for mortals
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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