yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
