ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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