He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
