I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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