Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
