we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
