This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
