omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
