This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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