All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
