dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
