There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
