i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
