sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i out mim tonsoeep
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
