im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
