Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
