i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
