But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
