laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
