Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize