Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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