Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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