Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize