have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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