I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
