I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
