She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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