Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
