Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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