Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
