if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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